In 1975 seven south-Moluccan youngsters hijacked the intercity-train from Groningen to Amsterdan near the Drente village of Wijster. They make the train stand still in the meadows near level crossing ‘de Punt’. They have one aim: recognition of the free Moluccan republic by the Netherlands. In order to show that they are serious they issue an ultimatum and they point out a passenger who will be executed afterwards. As a last wish this man dictates them a personal letter to his wife and children. Later he describes how from that moment onwards, the attitude of the hijackers changed: “as if they had got a kind of relationship with me, which prevented them from doing me harm… ” The man was finally saved. Yet, others were shot, without being allowed to write.

The most important problems cannot be solved in the same framework as they are created in.
Einstein

A counsellor that is irritated by a child is equal to it. The child gives you the possibility to become irritated but cannot cause it if the counsellor does not experience it that way. A counsellor who is equal to a child in a negative way is not able to guide it. In order to counsel it it is necessary that you can see the child the way it is and can find perspectives to satisfy its basic needs.

Herman Wijffels, Dutch trustee of the World Bank, says with regard to the formation of the government in the Telegraaf on 31 December 2007: “To my surprise I learnt that it usually went differently. Then long lists with items were made on which the insight of the parties differed. Now we were mainly looking for parallels. Then the differences could be bridged easily.”

Bonds on the basis of agreements
Socially justified enterprising (SJE) and the Islam
‘Socially justified’ often seems to have strained relations with all kinds of interests. It is interesting to look at parallels and bonds. In that respect the opinion of Willem Lageweg, director SJE the Netherlands and Tamin Chebti, student business administration and member of the board TANS interesting. They wrote an article in the Financial Daily in April 2006. With the title ‘Dialogue with the Islam shows remarkable chances for socially justified entrepreneurs’ they bent a media-sensitive problem into an economic challenge.

Justice, solidarity, involvement and ethical principles
Of course there are differences between SJE and the Islam. The dialogue with the stakeholders and transparency for instance are important principles of SJE. These aspects are dealt with in the Islam less explicitly. There authoritarian parents, scientists and religious leaders play a more important part than the open debate in which everyone takes part. For many products Muslims choose for the so-called halal-variety; a variety in which justice is done to the Islamic principles in the field of consumptions and production. This is especially true for food but also in other fields such as the area of banking these principles are of great and even increasing importance. Thus Islamic banking is growing faster than regular banking in the world at the moment also in Western countries as for instance England. He who has a closer look at the Islam and the economic system that has been derived from it, sees that there are strikingly many parallels with the principles of socially justified enterprising (SJE). And that offers interesting points of contact. In both concepts justice, solidarity, involvement and ethical principles are central. And in both cases the position of the capital-supplier is strongly moderated. These parallels can be a starting-point of the a deepening of a dialogue that does not only help the financial world further on.

Ethical principles
	• The Islam knows to ban to trade goods or services that the Koran has forbidden such as alcohol, drugs, prostitution and porn.
	• It knows a ban on interest (riba). The motive for this is that a beforehand determined compensation for capital at one’s disposal puts the capital-supplier into an unequally powerful position with regard to the credit-taker. The ban on riba does not only include rent but every form of increasing one’s fortune by speculation. The underlying principle is that one ought to work and/or undertake in order to earn money. The ban on riba tries to prevent the rich from becoming richer while sleeping and the poor from getting poorer all the time.
	• It is forbidden to hoard goods in times of scarcity in order to force up prices.
	• There is the ban on zakaat. The obligation to zakaat consists of paying yearly a certain percentage on wealth that rises above a certain subsistence minimum. The zakaat is destined for distribution among the poor.
	• A good division of income and employment are important points of reference.
	• Economic activities which harm the community for example in the domain of health and environment should be avoided.

SJE and chances
The starting points of Islamic enterprising link up very well with the principles of socially justified enterprising. In SJE it is about a good balance between results in the domain of people, planet and profit. Profit is in this concept a relative notion. In view of the growing number of Muslims in the Western world a further studies of Islamic purchasing behaviour and Islamic enterprising is of great importance. It immediately hits the balance of loss and profit of the entrepreneur. It seems that socially justified businesses have more chances in this market than classic enterprises with a one-dimensional strife for profit. Such an approach also serves a social interest. The parallels with socially justified enterprising offer interesting possibilities to build bridges and to increase mutual understanding. In a world in which polarization and the distance between the West and the Muslim community only seem to increase this is also an important argument for the deepening of the dialogue.

The visions of Darwin and Freud have not been generally accepted worldwide. The fourth injury will demand some time yet!

Wrapped up feeling of guilt
‘You should come and have a look. I really do not know what to do.” Mieke, the teacher of group 3 has indicated before that Tristan is very troublesome. He often reacts vehemently to other children. Mieke has already tried everything. Today she has run out of energy and creativity.
I am sitting down in the classroom and I see Tristan doing his arithmetic. A moment later he looks around and yells at another child. He is getting up and is standing in the middle of the classroom. “May I have your attention for a moment?” he shouts and while laughing he walks back to his chair. Then he takes his rubber and throws it at another child. I am going to sit somewhat closer to Tristan. He starts doing arithmetic again. He counts his fingers and writes a number down in his exercise-book. A child is walking next to his desk with a pencil its hands. Tristan gets up and snatches the pencil away. I get up and snatch the pencil away as quickly as he did it. I return it to the other child and then I tell Tristan not to snatch things away from other people. He is going to sit on his chair again and he puts his head on his arms. I hear him mumbling. He looks into his book and is doing arithmetic again. His fingers produce a few more answers again. Then he looking around him again, gets up and is climbing onto his chair. And while he is putting his arms into the air, I grab him and put him onto his chair again. While I push on the chair I tell him that you may not stand on a chair. He puts his head onto his arms again.
While Mieke calls the children into the circle I hear Tristan is crying. He is looking at Mieke for a moment and then he is walking to the other side of the classroom and is crying in a corner. I ask Mieke to start ‘normally’. Tristan is crying louder and louder. Mieke tells the children that Tristan wants to cry for a while and that it is good.
“I am not just crying,” Tristan calls from the corner.
I am going to sit with him and ask: “What did you say?”
He is sobbing and he repeats: “I am not just crying.”
“What do you mean?”
“It used to be always cosy at home and it no longer is.”
“Why is that?”
“Daddy is gone because he thought it was restless.”
“Restless?”
“Yes, we are too troublesome and now he is somewhere else and he does not come back is we do not become quiet and that is not nice in the evening, because daddy always did games and he always took us to bed and now he is gone..”
“What a pity. I did not know that at all.”
“No I did not.”
“Oh.”
The class is going to eat. Tristan is looking at the rest.
“Do you want to eat too?” I ask.
He nods and walks to his lunch-box.
Mieke and I see how pleasantly he is talking with his table-mates. Around 12 o’clock he puts his lunchbox in the tray. The agreement is that is allowed when they may go outside. We do not say anything about it.
“Tristan, you know at what time you are allowed to go outside?”
“Yes, at 12 o’clock.”
“Do you know when it is 12 o’clock?”
“Yes, when they are both at the top.”
“Would you please look and warn the class when they may go outside.”
Tristan turns his chair and says: “Almost boys, we may almost go outside.”
At 12 o’clock he makes a sign to have a break and walks outside while smiling.

I asked a management-team to make a choice to what or whom they would give priority. They had to write down their preference every time: pedagogic or didactics, ways of working or intentions, values or standards, politics or ecology, well-being and involvement or linkedness, counsellor or child. When we had spoken for one and a half hours with each other, I asked them to have a look again at their preferences. Most of them were startled by the fact that the conversation had involved so many personal interests and that preferences had hardly stayed in view.

More measure and fewer rules
On the 1 December 2006 the 8-year-old Jesse Dingemans, pupil of group 5 of primary school Klim-Op in Hoogerheide was found dead. The victim had serious injuries in the area of his neck. Later that afternoon the police arrested a 22 –year-old suspect.

The minister of education at the time, Van der Hoeven, was sincerely shocked and immediately proposed to close the doors of primary schools.

Of course the drama is shocking and everything has to be done to prevent that this can happen again. But the suggestion of the minister is based of de-linking. The door is literally closed. But where the feeling of safety is (temporarily) under pressure, this measure can do perfectly. But if we want a society which keeps using the chances in order to create linkedness, then really different measures are necessary. More measure and fewer rules.

Together to the toilet
A teacher of group ½ tells me that “ she does not allow two kids to go to the toilet together any more, because they cannot do that. Every time when they go together, they spray each other wet and draw at toilet-rolls.”
I tell her that not going together is not a de-linking.
“Yeah, but..” she reacts immediately, “they really cannot do it.”
I ask what is necessary in order to let them go together. She is thinking for a while.
“I cannot stand against the pot when they have to go to the toilet.”
“Is that necessary?” I ask. She imagines the situation. “Or is it sufficient that you stay in the classroom and ask later how it went.”
“No, they cannot do that yet, but I need not go to the toilet with them. ”
She looks at the door of the toilets and says: “I think it is necessary if they know that I am behind the door. And if things go well, it may be sufficient if they know that I ask afterwards and check… Yes that seems a nice experiment to me. ”

Concept has been derived from the Latin Conceptum and originally knows more meanings which can still be relevant if you want to conceptualise to the full: absorb, get pregnant, conceive, strive for something, decide, formulate, announce solemnly, commit, incur.

Marc Lammers, the successful coach of the ladies hockey team and author of ‘Coaching you do together’ attributes his successes to the changing tactics as he puts it himself. Formerly he prescribed how ‘his ladies’ had to eat, train, relax, live… At present he asks them when they feel most comfortably. Formerly he trained on what they could not do. But he stated that those patters also became visible in the game. Currently he has his ladies tell each other what they are good at and had them train on those things. When they go into the field, the does not tell them anymore what they have to do but asks them what they are going to do and then… they really do that! Lammers: “Coaching is not that they do what you say, but that they do what is best for the team.”

At hindsight we realised that the children had often literally indicated that the problems were caused by the fact that the counsellors did know ‘a thing’ about football. That was sometimes experienced in conflicts as ‘a big mouth’. Now we see how the same children have respect for the counsellors that ‘speak their language’ we know for the continuation that it is important to take also those signals literally.

Give the match back to the children
In 2007 the foundation ideal commercials (SIRE) started the campaign “Give the match back to the children.” They put central the exaggerated meddlesome-ness of (especially) parents around sporting grounds. Parents demand much from their children. They must not only be good at school, but they must also excel in the sporting area. And you hear that. At the sideline and on the stands. In this respect parents are often so fanatic that it seems as if they want to take over the match, over the heads of the children. While it is about their fun in the match and physical exercise. From a research of TNS NIPO it seems that 91% of the parents are annoyed by the behaviour of others. This is about inciting, swearing, calling names, pointing out at the referee that he has taken the wrong decisions and ‘advising’ the management of the team.
73% of the parents sees that other parents are inciting the children at sport matches once and again while 43 % admits doing it themselves once in a while.
49% of the parents hears other parents swear occasionally while only 8% admits doing it themselves. From a previous research by Motivaction it seems that sporting youngsters between 12 and 24 years old think that unsporting behaviour ‘belongs to it’ more than the other Dutch people.

www.sire.nl